Yesterday I took my mother to the doctor. Jerry is the driver of the transportation and yesterday he took the big bus because there was someone that had to be transported only in a wheelchair. I take my mother in a wheelchair but she is able to walk onto the bus, but it’s just easier for me to push her everywhere.
My mother gets very uncomfortable when she leaves her familiar surroundings and yesterday was just beyond belief. We had two ladies who had appointments in Hixson and we took them first and at each stop my mother wanted to get off. The whole time she kept saying she was going to throw up. I tried to calm her. We finally got to our stop and I wheeled her into the office and parked her chair. I went to the reception area and I heard my mother say in a loud voice that she needed to lay down. I got back to her and told her there was no where to lie down. She said in a very loud voice again that she would just lie down in the floor. Of course, everyone was looking at us and I have gotten used to this. Well sort of used to it. The office girls found us a room and I got my mother up on the table and she said she needed a pillow. Then she was cold. So Eric brought her a red blanket and called my mother Sweetie. My mother thought that was wonderful and I told her he called her that because she’s special.
During the consultation with the doctor my mother didn’t know what year it is or what month it is but she did know where we were at. She didn’t know who our president is but she did know that he is black. She couldn’t remember the president before him and I told her that she didn’t like him and his name was George W. Bush. She said, oh yeah I didn’t like him. I asked her about Condeeza Rice and she said oh I didn’t like her either and she and George Bush were having an affair.
Well, it was time to go and so I called Jerry to come get us. He was so busy picking people up and taking them to appointments and going back to get them that we had to wait about an hour. My mother drove me nuts during that time. She was cold, she was hot, the sun was in her eyes, I don’t want to hold this Sprite, and I could go on and on. Finally, here was Jerry. He was still picking up people and with each stop my mother would unfasten her seatbelt and was ready to get off. I kept having to get her seated and buckled up again. And of course she started with the I’m going to throw up again and wiping her drippy nose on the sleeve of her shirt. I looked at her one time and I knew she was about to throw up. Jerry had a half finished coke and I asked if I could have the cup. He asked for what and I said she’s about to puke! He said take it! Well, I thought I needed one too because I could never stand to see anyone throwing up. My mother just kept throwing up and the nose just running into the cup.
Finally I got her nose and mouth cleaned up and we arrived back at Summit View. I was never so glad to see a place in my entire life! I felt like dropping to the ground and kissing it.
My mother would have been motified if she knew what happened yesterday had she been the way she used to be.
I just hope and pray that I don’t become that way myself.
But for now, this is how it is riding the Fun Bus at Summit View. Thank you Jerry, I don’t know how you do it!
DR
7/8/09
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Reunion, Of Sorts
My uncle from Dallas, TX came in to visit his family and especially to see my mother. My mother is the oldest of 12 children and now three have died. One sister had Alzheimer’s and that was my mother’s greatest fear. She really didn’t want to have that, and now, well, she does.
The good thing is that my mother still knows who we are. She knew Don immediately today and she always knows her sister, Genell and Reida. Reida is only 4 years older than me and she and Nancy, who is my age, grew up like sisters. I was blessed to have them because I never had any brothers and sisters. My mother’s family was so large that I didn’t know the difference.
When Charles and I arrived, my mother, daddy, Don, Bonnie (Don’s wife), Genell, and Reida were all at the door. My dad takes my mother up to wait about an hour before they eat. He says they have to go early or they can’t get back to their table because of all of the walkers and wheelchairs. I had brought their laundry and you just can’t believe how many people were lined up. I had to get someone to clear the hall so I could get to my mother’s room.
I wanted to take a picture of Victor and my mother today, but Victor got away before I could. You know Victor is the “world renowned chef” that works at Summit View. I will get a picture of him. He’s always laughing and really likes my mother. My mother says he makes the best gravy and biscuits you’ve ever put in your mouth!
I had a gigantic load of laundry today and one man in a wheelchair asked me how many people I do laundry for. I’m not sure if he wanted to hire me or he was amazed that I had that much laundry for just 2 people.
The good thing is that my mother still knows who we are. She knew Don immediately today and she always knows her sister, Genell and Reida. Reida is only 4 years older than me and she and Nancy, who is my age, grew up like sisters. I was blessed to have them because I never had any brothers and sisters. My mother’s family was so large that I didn’t know the difference.
When Charles and I arrived, my mother, daddy, Don, Bonnie (Don’s wife), Genell, and Reida were all at the door. My dad takes my mother up to wait about an hour before they eat. He says they have to go early or they can’t get back to their table because of all of the walkers and wheelchairs. I had brought their laundry and you just can’t believe how many people were lined up. I had to get someone to clear the hall so I could get to my mother’s room.
I wanted to take a picture of Victor and my mother today, but Victor got away before I could. You know Victor is the “world renowned chef” that works at Summit View. I will get a picture of him. He’s always laughing and really likes my mother. My mother says he makes the best gravy and biscuits you’ve ever put in your mouth!
I had a gigantic load of laundry today and one man in a wheelchair asked me how many people I do laundry for. I’m not sure if he wanted to hire me or he was amazed that I had that much laundry for just 2 people.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Mother's Day
I didn’t say a lot about my mother on this past Mother’s Day. I guess it was pretty hard for me. In the past, I always took her to her favorite restaurant, Red Lobster, and she always ordered the seafood platter. She really loved Red Lobster.
Of course, this year, we just couldn’t go. She’s not the same any more.
I really intended to make her a hair appointment to get her hair cut before Mother’s Day, but didn’t get to. When I went down to see her, she said everybody was telling her she looked like Don King. You know, he’s the guy that has the hair just sticks straight up. I went back the next day with my curling iron, but I just couldn’t make her hair look right.
Well, now she has had a haircut and set and she said everybody was telling her how beautiful she is. Well, everybody but my dad. I don’t know why he finds it so hard to tell her that she’s beautiful. He usually just tells her she looks better.
I took my mother’s picture so I could send it to her brother in Dallas, TX. He calls about her and my aunt Genell every few days. My mother has two brothers who have not been to see her at all. I told Genell that the family always shows up at funerals. Why can’t we see our family while they are still alive? So what if my mother has a hard time remembering, she is still a living, breathing person.
Yes, I’m thankful that I still have my mother this year. She’s different, but she’s still my mother.
Of course, this year, we just couldn’t go. She’s not the same any more.
I really intended to make her a hair appointment to get her hair cut before Mother’s Day, but didn’t get to. When I went down to see her, she said everybody was telling her she looked like Don King. You know, he’s the guy that has the hair just sticks straight up. I went back the next day with my curling iron, but I just couldn’t make her hair look right.
Well, now she has had a haircut and set and she said everybody was telling her how beautiful she is. Well, everybody but my dad. I don’t know why he finds it so hard to tell her that she’s beautiful. He usually just tells her she looks better.
I took my mother’s picture so I could send it to her brother in Dallas, TX. He calls about her and my aunt Genell every few days. My mother has two brothers who have not been to see her at all. I told Genell that the family always shows up at funerals. Why can’t we see our family while they are still alive? So what if my mother has a hard time remembering, she is still a living, breathing person.
Yes, I’m thankful that I still have my mother this year. She’s different, but she’s still my mother.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Real or Not Real
I went to see my parents tonight. I did my usual by taking my mother her pull-ups and my dad some chewing gum. I went into her room but she was fast asleep and I really hated to wake her up this late in this day. I was there at 6:30 p.m. I guess I need to back up and say that she spends most of her time in bed. She gets up and dressed and goes to breakfast with my dad. She returns to her room and goes back to bed until my dad comes to get her to go to lunch. After lunch she returns to her room and goes back to bed until my dad comes to get her to go to supper. After supper she returns to her room and goes back to bed until one of the CNA’s come to get her ready for “bed.” My mother told me that the doctor has told her she needs to get plenty of rest.
Well, I went down to chat with the CNA’s and I asked them if Geneva was doing okay. One of them began to giggle and asked me had she told me about the man being in my mother’s room. I told her that I hadn’t heard that one. She said that my mother came down and said please help me, there’s a man in my room messing with my heat. The CNA went back with her to assure her that nobody was in her room (my mother has a habit of seeing people who aren’t there) and would you believe it, there was a man in my mother’s room fooling with her heat. The girl said, well Geneva there is a man in your room. My mother replied that she had been trying to tell her that. Well, it seems my mother was cold and knocked on Luther’s door and asked him if he could fix her heat. He told her to go get somebody that he couldn’t fix it.
My mother had previously gone down to tell the CNA’s a few months ago that there were two men in her room. The girls asked my mother why would they be in her room and my mother replied that they wanted sex. There was nobody in her room that time. The girls told me that they always check to make sure and I sure am glad.
Then, they told me that someone had yelled to call the fire department that somebody was having a heart attack. Out of the room comes my mother telling them that everything is okay because Dr. Geneva is here.
I can’t make this stuff up. I have known my mother all of my life and have never heard things like this from her.
So another fun day at Summit View.
DR
5/2/09
Well, I went down to chat with the CNA’s and I asked them if Geneva was doing okay. One of them began to giggle and asked me had she told me about the man being in my mother’s room. I told her that I hadn’t heard that one. She said that my mother came down and said please help me, there’s a man in my room messing with my heat. The CNA went back with her to assure her that nobody was in her room (my mother has a habit of seeing people who aren’t there) and would you believe it, there was a man in my mother’s room fooling with her heat. The girl said, well Geneva there is a man in your room. My mother replied that she had been trying to tell her that. Well, it seems my mother was cold and knocked on Luther’s door and asked him if he could fix her heat. He told her to go get somebody that he couldn’t fix it.
My mother had previously gone down to tell the CNA’s a few months ago that there were two men in her room. The girls asked my mother why would they be in her room and my mother replied that they wanted sex. There was nobody in her room that time. The girls told me that they always check to make sure and I sure am glad.
Then, they told me that someone had yelled to call the fire department that somebody was having a heart attack. Out of the room comes my mother telling them that everything is okay because Dr. Geneva is here.
I can’t make this stuff up. I have known my mother all of my life and have never heard things like this from her.
So another fun day at Summit View.
DR
5/2/09
Monday, April 27, 2009
Are We Having Fun Yet?
Today I had to go to the bank to deposit a commission check and thought I would go on to see my mother since I was already halfway there.
She was in the Garden Room along with about 10 or more other ladies. They had just finished lunch. I said hey, how are you doing today? She answered ok. I’m just ready to go home. I said aren’t you having fun? A little lady right beside me looked up and said “I’m not having fun.” I said you’re not. Why not? She didn’t answer. My mother said I’m not having fun either. She leaned over to this other lady and asked her if she was having fun and that lady just mumbled something like I don’t know what you mean. Well, the nurse then wheeled my mother around the table and I thought to myself, wow what happened to the back of my mother’s hair. I took her back to her room and got her brush and started brushing her hair. I thought back to when I was a little girl and she would brush mine. I was thinking that my mother’s hair is getting thin.
I remember one time when I was little, my hair was always thin and my mother wanted it to look thicker so she gave me a “Tonette” permanent. Oh yes, it was thicker all right, the comb got hung in it and my mother almost didn’t get it out. I hated that permanent and I have had very few of them during my lifetime.
I asked my mother if she’d like to have another shampoo, set, and a haircut and she told me she would. Then she said, I have to go pee. It seems that in all our discussions she needs to go pee an awful lot. I told her I had to go back to work and I’d get someone in to help her.
Are we having fun yet? If you still know what “fun” is, do it now. Tomorrow you may not know what that question means.
DR
1/10/08
She was in the Garden Room along with about 10 or more other ladies. They had just finished lunch. I said hey, how are you doing today? She answered ok. I’m just ready to go home. I said aren’t you having fun? A little lady right beside me looked up and said “I’m not having fun.” I said you’re not. Why not? She didn’t answer. My mother said I’m not having fun either. She leaned over to this other lady and asked her if she was having fun and that lady just mumbled something like I don’t know what you mean. Well, the nurse then wheeled my mother around the table and I thought to myself, wow what happened to the back of my mother’s hair. I took her back to her room and got her brush and started brushing her hair. I thought back to when I was a little girl and she would brush mine. I was thinking that my mother’s hair is getting thin.
I remember one time when I was little, my hair was always thin and my mother wanted it to look thicker so she gave me a “Tonette” permanent. Oh yes, it was thicker all right, the comb got hung in it and my mother almost didn’t get it out. I hated that permanent and I have had very few of them during my lifetime.
I asked my mother if she’d like to have another shampoo, set, and a haircut and she told me she would. Then she said, I have to go pee. It seems that in all our discussions she needs to go pee an awful lot. I told her I had to go back to work and I’d get someone in to help her.
Are we having fun yet? If you still know what “fun” is, do it now. Tomorrow you may not know what that question means.
DR
1/10/08
Am I Really Going Crazy?
Some days I wonder why my life took such a sudden turn for the worse. It all started last year when the lump on the side of Charles’ neck started growing. No, I take that back, it started when my mother turned 80. It seemed she kept getting worse and worse and finally the ophthalmologist discovered my mother has macular degeneration in her left eye. To be an only child is terrible but from what I hear, even though there are several children in a family, it usually falls on only one child to do all the care giving. How am I going to continue to cope with this situation?
Every time I see my dad he seems to be ready to jump on me about not just one thing but a whole list. He doesn’t want to put forth the effort to try to solve one problem, go to the store, or just keep his mouth shut. He doesn’t like anything or anybody or where he is. I could go on and on but I’ll stop there.
Dr
5/21/08
Every time I see my dad he seems to be ready to jump on me about not just one thing but a whole list. He doesn’t want to put forth the effort to try to solve one problem, go to the store, or just keep his mouth shut. He doesn’t like anything or anybody or where he is. I could go on and on but I’ll stop there.
Dr
5/21/08
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Falling Contest
A “Falling” Contest
Right when you think you have things under control, everything goes out of control. On the fourth of July I decided to stay home, and get some rest. It’s a good thing I did because the next morning Summit View (assisted living where my mother and dad are) called and said they had found my dad laying in the floor. No one seemed to know if he had come down the previous day for any meals and of course my mother thought he did and that he was in a really good mood and was sitting at another table. They got my dad cleaned up, he was flat on his back and had had a bowel movement. It must have been pretty bad because they threw his clothes away. The cat, Hobo, appeared to be really hungry. I had a 10:30 a.m. appointment so my husband, Charles, went to check on my dad and when I left that appointment I went on over to Summit View to check on my dad.
He appeared weak and a little disoriented but very humble and nice. I had talked to his doctor the previous week about his violent anger problem. I just couldn’t handle it. But, on Saturday I just felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow for him.
Well, my 2 p.m. appointment cancelled so Charles and I went home. Charles to eat what he can only get down now, Vanilla Ensure and I don’t even remember what I had. We had been home a couple of hours when someone from Summit View called to tell me that my mother had fallen and they were afraid she had broken her arm. Charles and I went down there again and the paramedics came and checked her over and felt that she had a broken wrist. We spent the next 5 hours in the emergency room.
We got back to Summit View at 9:30 p.m. I went up and told my dad that my mother was okay for now.
The next morning, Sunday, Summit View called me to tell me they found my dad in the floor again but he appeared ok.
You know when you’re a little child you look to your parents as your protector. Suddenly I am now in my 60’s and my parents are like toddlers. My mother thinks nothing about telling people she has peed in her diaper.
Why doesn’t anyone prepare us for this? It is very nerve wracking and it’s very hard to see my parents this way. I’m sure it’s just as frustrating for them.
The only thing I can do is try to remember them the “way they were.” These two people are not the parents I remember.
God help me get through this.
Right when you think you have things under control, everything goes out of control. On the fourth of July I decided to stay home, and get some rest. It’s a good thing I did because the next morning Summit View (assisted living where my mother and dad are) called and said they had found my dad laying in the floor. No one seemed to know if he had come down the previous day for any meals and of course my mother thought he did and that he was in a really good mood and was sitting at another table. They got my dad cleaned up, he was flat on his back and had had a bowel movement. It must have been pretty bad because they threw his clothes away. The cat, Hobo, appeared to be really hungry. I had a 10:30 a.m. appointment so my husband, Charles, went to check on my dad and when I left that appointment I went on over to Summit View to check on my dad.
He appeared weak and a little disoriented but very humble and nice. I had talked to his doctor the previous week about his violent anger problem. I just couldn’t handle it. But, on Saturday I just felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow for him.
Well, my 2 p.m. appointment cancelled so Charles and I went home. Charles to eat what he can only get down now, Vanilla Ensure and I don’t even remember what I had. We had been home a couple of hours when someone from Summit View called to tell me that my mother had fallen and they were afraid she had broken her arm. Charles and I went down there again and the paramedics came and checked her over and felt that she had a broken wrist. We spent the next 5 hours in the emergency room.
We got back to Summit View at 9:30 p.m. I went up and told my dad that my mother was okay for now.
The next morning, Sunday, Summit View called me to tell me they found my dad in the floor again but he appeared ok.
You know when you’re a little child you look to your parents as your protector. Suddenly I am now in my 60’s and my parents are like toddlers. My mother thinks nothing about telling people she has peed in her diaper.
Why doesn’t anyone prepare us for this? It is very nerve wracking and it’s very hard to see my parents this way. I’m sure it’s just as frustrating for them.
The only thing I can do is try to remember them the “way they were.” These two people are not the parents I remember.
God help me get through this.
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